


Even that is an understatement

by Afonso



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, I am Supercorp Trash, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Sad Kara Danvers, Sad Lena Luthor, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-27 22:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20053363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afonso/pseuds/Afonso
Summary: AU where Kara and Lena first met while in college. They had an earth-shattering holiday romance for 3 days, and then lost contact and never thought they would see each other again - until the day she and Clark stepped into L-Corp.Note: In this AU, some of the canon events may not have happened in the same order as on TV. Just roll with my sequence of events, kay? Heh.Based on a true story.





	1. Chapter 1

Kara shuts the door to her apartment and sighs, eyes heavy with fatigue. It had been one hell of a day. Alex had come out to Kara, and thought Kara wasn’t okay with it, and it got weird. Luckily, the sisters had sorted it out shortly after, but not after Kara had stressed over it for hours. Kara hadn’t known how to react to Alex’s coming out speech, not because she felt any differently about her sister, but because she had been struggling with whether to reveal her own secret. Something she had never told Alex. Never told anyone. A story that was only known by the one other person who was involved with her in the whole experience. 

Kara sits down heavily on the couch with the 50 potstickers she bought to recover from this tiring day. She bites down on the first, and reflects on what she told Alex earlier that day.

“I know that this is not the same at all, but I know how it feels like to keep a part of you shut off...but Alex,  _ you are not alone _ .”

Kara knew she had said that it was not the same, but really, it was. She thinks back 5 years ago, to her college trip in Star City. The memories come back to her easily, like how a well-thumbed book always falls open to the same favourite chapter. 5 years on, she still remembers most of it vividly, can still hear the thumping music in the bar, taste the terrible wine she had ordered, feel the electricity that coursed through her veins when they held hands, shudder at the tingle in her lips when they had their first kiss.

///

They met at a bar. Kara had come back to her hotel room to find that her roommate had brought back a boy and they were doing...icky things. So she had taken shelter at the nearest bar, just across the road from her hotel. It seemed like her roommate and her new beau would need some time, so she ordered a glass of white wine. It was a pinot grigio - way too dry for her taste. She cursed her inadequate knowledge of Earth alcohol and made a face.

“Is it that bad?” A sultry drawl with an Irish lilt asked.

Kara looked up. The owner of the voice was a raven-haired girl with crimson lips, and eyes so green she found it impossible to look away. The Kryptonian smiled shyly. “Here, you try.”

The girl made a face, too. “God, yeah, you’re right.” She smirked at Kara, and proffered her glass. “My whiskey and coke is much better.”

Kara tried it and nodded in agreement.

“That badge. You’re here for the international debate finals too?”

“Yes!” Kara exclaimed. She did not know why she was so excited, only that she was so glad to have something in common with this girl that she could not seem to stop staring at.  _ Remember to blink, Kara _ . She forced herself to look away.

They exchanged school names, and got talking. It turned out that a love for debate wasn’t the only thing they had in common - just the first of many. In fact, they got so engrossed in their conversation that it wasn’t until two hours later that they actually exchanged names.

“I’m Lena, by the way.” Lena grinned widely, showing off two deep dimples.  _ Adorable. _ Dimples were Kara’s ultimate weakness.

“Kara. Nice to meet you,” Kara chuckled. “I can’t believe we’re only finding out each others’ names after, like, two hours.”

“Well, it’s not my fault that you’re such a great conversationalist.” Lena laughed, her glinting eyes more than a touch flirtatious. Kara felt her own heartbeat quicken.

“So, what brings you to this bar tonight?” Kara asked.

Kara saw pain briefly cross Lena’s face before she wrested it into a neutral expression. 

“Oh, you don’t have to answer if it’s something personal,” Kara backtracked.

Lena shook her head. “This is where I usually change the subject, but somehow I feel like I can trust you.” She looked into Kara’s eyes, and Kara was distracted by how the strobe lights caught Lena’s eyes and made them glimmer like emeralds.  _ Focus, she’s about to say something important _ , she scolded herself, and looked somewhere to the left of Lena’s face so that her attention wouldn’t be seized by her perfect features.

Lena took a breath. “My brother outed me to my parents. And they called to issue me a stern warning against living “this lifestyle”, even though they know I’m up for the finals tomorrow and need to focus. I just felt really angry and rebellious after that and decided to duck into the first lesbian bar I found, as a sort of ‘screw you’ to them.” Lena smiled self-deprecatingly and held her glass up as though proposing a toast. “And so here I am.”

“Oh. You’re...this is a…I didn’t know that. Oh.”  _ Stop talking, Kara. _

Kara could see Lena start to shut herself off. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not about to make a move on you. You’re straight, right? Called it the moment you walked in.” There was hurt in Lena’s voice, even though she was clearly trying to keep her tone light.

“No, that’s not what I-” Kara stuttered as Lena motioned for the bill and stood up, ready to leave. She put her hand on Lena’s shoulder, and by some miracle, Lena sat back down. “Lena, I’m sorry. Give me another chance, okay? Pretend I didn’t say all of that.” Kara looked deep into her eyes. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves to be outed, and for your parents to react this way...it’s truly horrible.” She saw that Lena’s eyes were starting to well up with tears, and she was furiously trying to blink them away. Strangely, Kara’s heart gave a painful twinge, even though she had just met this stranger, and before she knew it, she was holding Lena in a tight embrace. And it felt really good, because after a second or two, Lena was hugging her back.

Their faces were so close together that when Lena, the shorter of the two, looked up to say thank you, they found that their lips were suddenly inches away from each other and Lena’s eyes were so green and then, suddenly, their lips were no longer apart.

Lena’s lips were on hers. They were impossibly soft and smelled like strawberries. Kara kissed back without hesitation, and she felt something she had never felt before - hot and tingly all over, especially her mouth.

When they came up for air, Lena looked horrified. “Sorry! I should have asked you first. Was that okay?” She looked so shy that Kara could feel her heart melting into a puddle of goo. “Yes. I liked it. Very much.” Now it was Kara’s turn to dip her head in bashfulness.

“So, not straight after all, huh. Gotta work on my gaydar,” Lena smirked mischievously.

Kara fiddled with her glasses. She had been attracted to women and had kissed girls before, especially during the drunken raves that were common in college, but it never felt like  _ this _ . 

“Can I kiss you again?” Kara asked shyly. Lena obliged, with gusto. This time, they went slow, and Kara wondered why it had never felt like this when she kissed other people. Why it never made her heartbeat grow louder than the thumping music in the bar. Why it never felt like there were butterflies struggling to burst out of her belly button. Why she felt so  _ hot  _ all over. Why she felt like she would melt under the softness of Lena’s lips. Why it almost hurt to look at Lena, she was so beautiful, and Kara kept blushing just by looking at her.

Lena’s phone rang, breaking the spell, and Kara realised that one of her hands was cradling Lena’s face and the other was fisted in her silky hair. She quickly dropped her hands, another hot blush creeping up her face and neck. Lena looked with utmost annoyance at phone and said with a sigh, “I’m sorry, I really want to stay but I have to go.”

“Can I have your number?” Kara blurted out before she knew what she was doing.

Lena smirked again. “Sure.”

When they had exchanged numbers, Lena asked, “You said you live at a hotel nearby, right? Let me walk you back.”

Kara blushed again. “It’s just across the road. You really don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Lena insisted, her eyes growing dark green. “Just so we can talk a little more. In case you never want to see me again after today.” Another self-deprecating smile.

“I definitely want to see you again. But how will you get back? Is your hotel far away?”

“Further, yes, but I have a driver, so don’t worry.”

Bathed in the amber light of the streetlamps, Lena looked ethereal. Kara felt bashful and dizzyingly happy as Lena chivalrously walked her home, the two of them maintaining a comfortable silence. They stopped at her hotel lobby, and found a discreet corner away from prying eyes. Kara leaned forward and closed her eyes, hoping that Lena would get the hint. The wait was unnerving, yet exquisite, but before long she felt impossibly soft lips on hers, and that delicious tingle which radiated from her lips to her heart. Just one chaste kiss this time, and Kara wanted more, so much more, but she knew that if they started again she would never let Lena go, and she wanted Lena to be safe getting home.

“Thank you. I’m so glad I met you,” Kara breathed as she pulled Lena into a tight embrace.

“Me too.” That disarming smile, again, and then she was gone.

All night, Kara grinned to herself like a crazy idiot. She texted Lena, asking to meet after the debate competition, and prayed and prayed and prayed that Lena would say yes.

She replied almost immediately. “I would like to see you again too :) Meet you at the conference room lobby after the last debate.”

Kara thanked Rao as she drifted off to sleep, dreaming about a beautiful girl with raven hair and lips that tasted of strawberries.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Kara made her excuses to get away from her friends after the competition. They all smelled a rat, of course, and teased her endlessly. But it was all worth it, she found, the moment she saw Lena at the lobby - right on time. Lena was wearing a sharply-cut navy blue blazer over her dress, and looked suave and beautiful at the same time. Kara didn’t know how that was possible, and suspected that it wasn’t, except when it came to Lena.

They refrained from touching until they reached the secluded table at the back of the expensive French restaurant which Lena was walking her to. 

“We’ll have to pick another place, Lena, I can’t afford this.” Kara said apologetically after glancing at the menu and confirming her suspicion that the food was hideously pricey.

Lena waved her hand dismissively. “My treat.”

“Thank you. How rich are you?” Kara asked, half-teasing, but unable to keep the curiosity from her voice.

“Enough to impress a girl I like on a first date.” That smirk again. “Doesn’t make up for having a crappy family, though.” 

Kara blushed at the mention of “first date” and squeezed Lena’s hand to chase away the sadness in her voice.

They talked throughout dinner, resuming the easy camaraderie from the night before, and Kara noticed that Lena was initially nervous, but relaxed after two glasses of merlot. Thinking of Lena’s liver, Kara tried to drink faster than her, since Earth alcohol did not affect her. Kara had never cared this much for someone she had just met. With Lena, everything just felt different...and although things were moving so fast, Kara felt that it was the right pace, especially since they would be going back to different cities the day after tomorrow. And somehow, she just knew in her bones that she could trust Lena completely.

“You know, with the French food and the wine, I feel like this is the most sophisticated date I’ve ever been on. Adulting, am I right?” Kara teased.

“Sorry, I can’t help being stuffy. This is how my family raised me,” Lena frowned.

Kara squeezed Lena’s hand again. “I was kidding, silly. This is lovely. I’d go anywhere, just as long as I get to spend time with you.” Kara clapped her hand over her mouth. “Did I just say that out loud? Oh, dear.”

Lena looked around to check that the coast was clear, then leaned over to give Kara a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re so sweet and adorable.”

Kara blushed for what seemed like the 100th time in the last 24 hours. 

“What would you like to do after this?” Lena asked as they finished the last of the wine and Kara had polished off the dessert.

“Could we hang out somewhere? I want to get to know you better. I really love talking to you. If you don’t mind, I think your hotel room would give us the most privacy.” Kara lowered her voice. “And, if I’m being honest, I also really want to kiss you properly, in privacy.” Kara could not believe how forward she was being, but at the same time she knew she would regret it if she didn’t ask. She wanted to get to know Lena, but at the same time she also really wanted to kiss her away from prying eyes. And she was ready to bet that given how rich Lena seemed, she would have a private room.

Lena’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “Sure. I’ll have my driver send us there, and send you home after.”

“How chivalrous,” Kara teased.

On the drive to Lena’s hotel, Kara felt nervous. What was going to happen once they reached Lena’s hotel room? Were they going to...you know? How does one...you know...with a girl? She hoped that Lena was more experienced. And then there was the matter of her super strength. She was pretty good at controlling her powers, but she really would have to keep herself focused in order not to hurt Lena. If the night’s events even came to that. Maybe Lena would not even want to kiss her or do anything more than kissing her.

Sensing Kara’s nervousness, Lena reached for her hand and held it. Kara smiled tenderly at Lena and put her head on Lena’s shoulder, feeling so comfortable and happy that she hoped this night would never end. She didn’t know if Lena wanted to see her again. And she would be back in National City, and Lena in Tokyo, in less than 48 hours. They would be a 13-hour flight away from each other, with a 12-hour time difference. While Lena was originally from Metropolis, which was just a few hours away from National City, her family was stationed in Tokyo indefinitely while they did cutting-edge research with the world's top scientists. Kara found herself hoping fervently that Lena might one day be closer to her. Her eyes began welling up while she was thinking about how unfair it was, that she found this amazing person but now had to walk away from her. She forced herself to think about something else, something less sad, and squeezed Lena’s hand. She squeezed back.

In the soft lighting of Lena’s cavernous suite, they settled on her king-sized bed, sitting so close together that their thighs were flush. 

“Can I kiss you?” Lena asked, so soft it was almost a whisper. Kara nodded. Green eyes searched her face, drinking in every detail, and then the soft lips were upon her again, hot and urgent. Kara was already breathless, even though her lung capacity was much higher than a human’s. She suspected it had something to do with this impossibly gorgeous girl kissing her like Kara was the one thing she had ever wanted in her life. Their tops had just come off when Lena’s phone rang. Kara watched as Lena’s expressions cycled through annoyance, fear and pain. She held Lena’s hand, drew circles on it with her thumb in an attempt to soothe her. 

When Lena hung up, she threw her phone halfway across the room and her face crumpled into angry sobs. Kara held her as tightly as she could, silently waiting for Lena to calm down enough to tell her what happened. Lena leaned into her embrace, breaths coming hard and fast as she sobbed uncontrollably. 

“Sorry.” Lena murmured into Kara’s neck, still hanging onto Kara as though she was the only thing holding her together.

“Don’t be. I’m just glad to be here for you,” Kara replied soothingly, rubbing circles on Lena’s back. She found that she would do anything to make Lena feel better, and said so.

Lena managed a watery smile. “You’re literally the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you,” Kara blushed, then asked, as gently as possible, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lena started to shake her head, then said, “Actually, why not? I’ve already ruined our first date by sobbing while making out.” Kara placed her hand tenderly on Lena’s face, to prevent that self-deprecating smile from appearing again.

“Hey. This is not your fault. I’m here to get to know you better, and this is you.”

And so Lena told her what happened. Her parents had called to tell her that Lena’s driver had been reporting every detail of her “dalliance” with Kara back to them, and they had signed Lena up for conversion therapy, starting two days from now when Lena got back to Japan after the debate competition. 

“They make me feel so _ ashamed _ for being who I am. I know very well that there is nothing wrong with being gay, and I should be proud of who I am, but it’s so, so hard when everyone in my world is telling me it’s wrong to be.” The tears were flowing endlessly on Lena’s face now, and she made no effort to stem them, so Kara caught them with her hands, wishing she could take some of her sadness away. She was still beautiful, but now, in an absolutely heartbreaking way.

Kara embraced Lena fiercely, hugging her as hard as she dared without breaking Lena’s bones. “There’s _ nothing _wrong with being who you are. You need to remember that anyone else who says so is just being mean and stupid. But I am sorry I got you into trouble by seeing you again.” Kara hung her head.

Now it was Lena’s turn to hug her tight and lift Kara’s chin with her hand. “I wanted this too. More than you know. And I am so sick of hiding who I am. My parents were bound to intervene sooner or later.”

“You’re so brave.” Kara’s eyes filled with admiration, while Lena’s welled up with tears - this time, because she was moved by Kara’s words.

“I’m not. I’m literally a blubbering mess right now.”

Kara carded her fingers through Lena’s hair, eyes filled with affection. “That just shows how strong you are. Strong enough to cry in front of me, and to forge on with being yourself like I know you will, no matter what intervention your parents throw at you.” Kara could not explain how she knew, only that she felt like she had known Lena forever. Perhaps this was how it felt like when one met their soulmate? _ Soulmate _. Was Lena her soulmate? The word fit like a glove when she used it on Lena. Kara knew, in this moment, that few would ever understand the level of connection, intimacy and attraction that she and Lena had, because it was so rare, but that she must always believe in it unquestioningly, unwaveringly. Kara did not know, however, that this belief would be tested multiple times over the next five years.

Lena sat up straight and dried her tears. “Well, since we might not be able to see each other again, what do you say we make the most of tonight?” Kara felt tearful at the thought of never seeing each other again, but nodded. Lena was amazing - so smart, capable, kind, beautiful, witty, and Kara would spend every waking minute with her if she could.

They alternated between slow and hungry kisses. Kara tried her best to show how much she desired Lena while still keeping her touch as light as possible, fearful of hurting Lena in the throes of her passion. Lena asked for consent every step of the way, and was so gentle and respectful, made Kara feel so desirable and loved that Kara never wanted anyone else to touch her ever again. 

But when Lena’s hands lingered on Kara’s panties and her green eyes looked at her, questioning, Kara put her hand over Lena’s and said, “Not below the hips.” She feared losing control over her strength - she did not trust herself not to, especially after the sensuous preview that Lena had given her. Also, a part of her wanted to retain some of the mystery.

“Of course. Okay.” Lena continued to kiss her upper body.

Later, as they lay cuddling, Lena confessed that she had never cried like this in front of anyone else. “I don’t know why I feel so safe with you. I’ve never broken down in front of anyone else. With you, I feel like if I fall apart, you could put me back together, and so I just trusted you and let myself feel everything for once. I never do that,” Lena said, her tone reverent, eyes wide with amazement. 

Kara leaned over, kissed Lena on the temple. “Thank you for trusting me and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with me.”

Lena looked at her with wonder in her eyes, kissed her back. “You are amazing, Kara.” 

“So are you.”

“Will you ever tell me your last name? So that I can Google you and find out exactly how rich you are?” Kara asked, chuckling.

“Nope. It’ll remain my secret. But you can tell me yours,” Lena said with a mysterious smile.

“No way. This is a two-way street.” Lena threw a pillow at Kara and Kara caught it, laughing.

All too soon, it was time for them to part. Since the driver was compromised, Lena insisted on getting into a cab with Kara to send her home, and paying for it. 

They shared a tender goodbye kiss, and Kara’s lips were still buzzing with electricity when she climbed into bed an hour later, tears flowing at the thought of how she would probably never see this amazing girl again. The full force of her feelings for Lena hit her chest, soaring like a tsunami and filling up every single inch of her body. She needed to tell Lena how she felt. She typed and re-typed a long text, and finally settled on this.

“Dear Lena,

You’re amazing, and you don’t know how happy I am to have met you. How happy you have made me during our brief time together. It’s crazy that my life has changed since less than 48 hours ago when we first met. Without you, I never would have known how it’s supposed to feel like when I kiss someone. Now, I know, and nothing less is going to do for me from this day forward.

I can’t help but feel that this could have been something if we didn’t live so far apart. I could have stood up for you in front of your parents, helped you be confident and proud of your sexuality. I could have brought you to all my favourite spots in National City, introduced you to my friends and family - they’d have loved you. I would have loved you, comforted you when you were sad and never let you go. I would have told you every day how special you are. It would have been great, Lena.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! What did you think? I have written out the next chapter and will try to edit and post over the next few days.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third date - Kara's turn to be vulnerable. Then comes the separation and how it affected Kara. :( She needs a hug.

From: Lena

**Omg I can’t stop crying after reading what you wrote. I can’t help but feel that we are star-crossed soulmates. You’ve made me feel things I’ve never felt before and I’m not sure what to do, since we live so far apart. But please, will you meet me again tomorrow? One last hurrah before we leave Star City and go back to reality.**

Kara said yes, of course - she was overjoyed. They arranged to meet directly at Lena’s room, so as to avoid giving the driver more tales to tattle. Kara was no longer as sad that they would not be seeing each other - her misery replaced by pure euphoria that her feelings were requited. She went to sleep with a big smile on her face, and this goofy grin persisted throughout the last day of the debate competition. She ignored her friends as they needled her endlessly for the name of the person who was making her so giddy. The hours ticked by laboriously, and even though she kept a constant lookout, she did not see Lena. But it comforted her to know that she would be seeing Lena that night, no matter what.

The thought of meeting Lena distracted her so much that Kara did not think about the fact that it was her Earth birthday until she was in Lena’s arms that night. The Discovery Channel was on, just for background noise while they gazed into each other’s eyes and made out. There was a documentary on about the cosmos, and the explosion of a planet on screen startled the both of them. On instinct, Kara clapped both hands over her ears and curled up into a foetal position, tears already flowing down her face as her brain played memory after traumatic memory of her home planet imploding in front of her.

Lena immediately held her tight, spooning her and stroking her hair gently. “Hey. Kara. Don’t be scared. I’m here. I’m here,” Lena murmured softly into her ear over and over again until Kara’s sobs calmed. “Sorry about that.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. What’s wrong?” Lena asked, her thumb carressing Kara’s face. Soothed by Lena’s touch, Kara looked into Lena’s eyes with her watery blue ones. “You won’t believe me even if I told you.”

“Try me. Let me help you like how you helped me yesterday. Please?” Lena tightened her arms around Kara, until even her invulnerable Kryptonian body could feel her strength.

Kara felt so safe in Lena’s arms, as though nothing bad could ever happen to her.

“I know I look human, but I am actually an alien.” Kara paused, searching Lena’s eyes and waiting for them to widen in disbelief. Lena’s eyes held steady.

“I believe you. The cosmos is infinite - of course we’re not alone.” She was deadly serious as she said this.

Kara felt greatly encouraged and thanked Rao again for letting her meet this wonderfully understanding and intelligent girl. “It exploded many years ago today, and everybody on it died. Me and my cousin are the only survivors, and we landed here on Earth.” She decided to leave out the part where she had powers, in case it freaked Lena out. Being an alien was already a big enough revelation.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you,” Lena actually looked pained on her behalf, and held her tight once more, pressing a feather-soft kiss to Kara’s cheek. “Tell me about your home? What was it like?”

For the rest of the night, Kara told Lena about her life before Earth and Lena talked about her life as the adopted daughter of a powerful family. They told each other as many details as they could about themselves, as though making up for the unknown amount of time ahead when they would be apart. Though drunk on love, or infatuation, or whatever this was, this...attraction that made them feel as though they were made for each other and that no one else would do, they both knew that even if they managed to meet again, things would feel different once the dream ended and they were back home. The magic was here, in Star City, and once they left its confines, they would make a hard landing on reality - but on this enchanted night, the possibilities still seemed endless. 

As the hours of the clock raced towards midnight, Kara made one last attempt to find out Lena’s last name. Lena just smiled sadly and shook her head, saying, “It’s better if you don’t know. It never did anyone any good to know, trust me.” 

“Would you want to keep in contact after this? Or is it easier for you if we don’t?”

“Let’s just keep in contact and see how it goes. Go with the flow. I don’t think I could stop talking to you,” Lena was turning the full force of her green eyes on Kara again, and Kara felt her own breath catch.

While they were kissing, Kara thought about the infinitesimal possibility of being together with Lena, or finding someone who made her feel the same way, and tears began to roll down her eyes. Lena held her tight, knowing what was causing her misery.

“Promise me you’ll find someone in National City that makes you happy. I’m too far away, and I can only be your friend,” Lena said bravely, even though she was also choking up.

Kara was properly sobbing now, and found herself unable to make this promise. All she wanted was Lena. “How am I going to find someone like you?”

“You will. You’re wonderful,” Lena said firmly.

They stayed in each other’s embrace, talking and kissing for what felt like hours.

Then, it was time for Kara to leave for the airport. While Lena was in the bathroom, Kara took out her phone and snapped a picture of the suite with the rumpled sheets on the bed, just to have a memento of this room where so many things happened. Where they experienced true intimacy by baring their souls to each other. Where she fell so hard for a beautiful stranger, and finally experienced the kind of romance that movies and books talk about. Where some would say they moved too fast, and Kara got way too invested way too soon, but they weren’t there - they couldn’t know how it had all felt as natural as breathing.

///

Lena apologised for not being able to send her off at the airport, on account that she hadn’t packed and her own flight was in a few hours’ time. They promised, again, to keep in touch.

Which made Kara all the more confused when Lena suddenly broke off contact once Kara told her her plane had landed safely in National City.

She waited, hopefully, for weeks, dropping the occasional message or call, but Lena never got back. Two weeks later, Kara decided that the message was clear and that she should stop waiting.

But she didn’t, not really. The ray of hope left in her still snapped to attention every now and then when her phone buzzed. She began the slow and painful process of getting over the person she thought was her soulmate, who in the end did not even want to keep in touch with her.

She did not tell Alex about the whole experience because she knew her sister would be very worried about the multiple visits to a stranger’s hotel room. Besides, she found it very difficult to explain to someone who wasn’t there the connection and the attraction she had experienced, and how hard she had fallen for Lena within such a short time. She was even a little ashamed of it, since it turned out that Lena didn’t want to keep in contact after all. Also, back then, she and Alex were fighting a lot over Alex’s drinking problem, which made it a little easier for this to remain Kara’s secret.

///

To fill the emptiness in her heart and remind herself that the whole encounter was not a dream even though it was so surreal, Kara tried writing down everything that happened on those 3 magical days in Star City. She did not want to forget any detail - not the exact hue of those emerald eyes, or the precious things Lena said, or how loved and protected and safe and happy Lena made her feel. It took many attempts to get most of it down, before she abandoned the project because of the pain it caused her. 

The first time was the most difficult. Love songs played in the background to get her in the mood. Kara had never been at a loss for words. When talking, she tended to ramble. When typing, the words always came easily. Even if they were not in the correct order and not in as poetic a fashion as she would like - they always came. But that first time, her fingers were still, and she could not think of a single word as the tears blurred her vision. After what felt like hours, she wrote the last paragraph, because sometimes it is easier to start at the ending: 

“Maybe not every beautiful love story has to end with happily ever after. In Love Actually, the most romantic scene is when the guy confesses to his best friend’s wife, expecting nothing, wanting only for her to know, and getting only a kiss for all his troubles. And that is enough. This will have to be enough for me.”

Grasping on to this conclusion and with the help of the ensuing floods of tears, Kara began the road to recovery from heartbreak.

///

After Lena, all the love songs made sense. The world was full of triggers - things, places, people, moments and melodies that made Kara think of her. There were so many that Kara didn’t bother avoiding them at all, just lived with first pain, then a bittersweet feeling, then nostalgia whenever she heard an Irish accent, or saw a beautiful girl with straight black hair and blood-red lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They meet again in the next chapter - which will mirror the 1st mtg in L-Corp in canon. :) Aiming to post it within a week.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't expected to post again so soon since I just started working full-time again, but your comments spurred me on and I got a flash of inspiration, so here it is!

And so, here Kara is, 5 years later, lying on her couch, reminiscing about her brief but unforgettable encounter with Lena. By now, all the potstickers are gone, and Kara suddenly feels like going to bed and never getting up. She got over Lena a long time ago - well, as “over” as she could be, anyway, considering that she never had a similar encounter with anyone else. Maybe she had been closed off to other people, still convinced deep down that she could not find the same level of connection with anyone else, that no one would treat her better or was more compatible. That there was no one she could be completely vulnerable with, whom she trusted implicitly to put her back together if she fell apart. And yet, here she was, making up her mind again, 5 years later, not to tell Alex about her mind-blowing gay experience. Let her focus on Alex, celebrate with her sister as the older Danvers enjoys her new-found identity, and her new girlfriend, because Kara has no doubt that Maggie would fall for her incomparable sister. It is the least she can do for Alex - wonderful, self-sacrificing Alex. For the next month, this is exactly what Kara does. So focused is she on holding her beloved sister’s hand through the highs and lows of her new romance that she does not think about Lena again for a month - the longest streak she’s ever had. 

She’s feeling proud about this one ordinary morning when the streak is broken. She hears the name “Lena” for the 999th time since she left Star City, and thinks once again of perfect eyebrows and devilish smiles. For the 999th time, she puts it out of her mind, reminds herself that Lena is an annoyingly common name - they even use it for one-off characters in random sitcoms she watches.

In Lena Luthor’s office, Kara’s world stops spinning when the CEO walks in.

Lena is just as she remembers, only more stunning. She’d grown into a self-possessed, powerful woman who dominates a room. Overwhelmed, Kara looks away at the exact moment that Lena claps eyes on Kara, and misses the floored look on Lena’s face. By the time Kara looks up again, Lena looks disinterested, and clearly doesn’t remember her. At all. Kara feels as though her heart has been punched, and decides to pretend that she doesn’t know Lena either.

She fails spectacularly, spends the whole time staring at Lena, unable to look away, trying to take in every detail and compare them to her memories. She lets Kal ask all the questions, only jumping in when her cousin’s tone gets accusatory. Lena answers every question in measured tones, asks for Kara’s name as an afterthought. She barely even looks at Kara. When Lena proffers a handshake, Kara takes it reluctantly, not wanting to remember the feel of Lena’s hand in hers so many moons ago. She feels that same tingle run up her wrist and galvanise her heart, as though she had never let go. She fights back tears, composes herself, says goodbye to Lena again. She tells herself that Lena is a stranger now, no longer hers.

But today, Kara’s body is not hers. As if in a trance, she ignores Kal’s questions about why she was acting so strangely, takes off and hovers above the building opposite L-Corp, just out of Lena’s sight but still able to watch her. She can’t help it. She didn’t realise how much she had missed Lena until now. She just wants to watch her for a while longer. She sees Lena walk out of her office, go to the rooftop. Once at the rooftop, Lena’s ramrod straight posture sags. Kara watches as the most powerful CEO in National City sits down heavily on the dirty floor, hunched over, her artfully expressionless face crumpling into sobs as she whispers into the air, “I’m so sorry, Kara.”

Kara can’t watch anymore. She takes off into the air and spends the next hour flying around aimlessly, hardly able to see where she’s going because of tears that won’t stop running. Her mind can’t stop buzzing, hundreds of thoughts tripping over each other in their haste to rise to the surface. Lena remembered her. So why had she pretended that she didn’t?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting, from Lena's perspective. She decides to take action.

As she sits sobbing on the floor of L-Corp’s rooftop, Lena feels all the composure Lillian had drummed into her leave her all at once. She is always confident at work, where she knows her place and exactly what she is capable of. But for everything else in her life, she is at sea, pushed from shore to shore by crashing waves, barely able to stay afloat. Alcohol buoys her for hours at a time - she knows it’s bad but she has no other way of coping. Sometimes, she feels like a marionette whose puppeteer leaves whenever she stops working.

When she saw Kara in her office, the first memory that popped into her mind was the one she allowed herself to revisit most often. On their first date, in the French restaurant, Kara’s face lightly flushed from the bitter winter cold, lit up by the flickering flames of the fireplace behind her. She looked like an angel. The rush of emotions that came next had been so overwhelming that it had taken all of Lillian’s training and her good old friend, compartmentalisation, to pretend that she didn’t know Kara and come up with coherent answers to Clark’s questions. Frankly, she was so out of it that she was surprised she hadn’t implicated herself. She only managed it by using all of her willpower to avoid looking at Kara. She knew that the moment she looked at the blonde again, she would not be able to stop herself from grabbing her hand and never letting her go - which she should have done five years ago and regrets not doing every day.

But in the end, she had not been able to resist asking Kara for her name, just so she had an excuse to search for a hint of recognition in those deep blue eyes that still made every inch of her stand at attention. What she found was pain, so much pain that Lena was sure that Kara hated her still. Lena didn’t blame her. She hated herself, too.

For the next hour, Lena tries to calm her ragged breathing as the memories escaped the floodgates she had so carefully installed. The scent of Kara’s coconut shampoo as her head lay on Lena’s chest when they cuddled, talking about anything and everything, as though they had known each other for years instead of days. Getting lost in Kara’s eyes as she gazed at Lena,  _ Lena _ , when this amazing person could have anyone she wanted. The soft music that played from the iPod dock, and the warm lighting in Lena’s suite that made Kara look even more breathtaking, made Lena yearn for the Earth to just  _ stop spinning _ so that they could have this moment forever.

When Lena finally picks herself up from the floor, the pain in Kara’s eyes haunts her again and something slams into her chest. But this time, it’s not just heartache. She straightens her body, dusts herself off, and for the first time in five years, she feels...brave, invincible. She knows exactly what to do next. The puppeteer is back in control.

She makes a call to Cat Grant, palms already sweating as she dials for the terrifying woman. As the phone rings, she steels herself, picks up the ball that Kara threw into her court five years ago. She’s waited far too long. Seeing her today against all odds was a sign from the universe, and after seeing Kara in pain, Lena finally understands that leaving Kara had hurt her soulmate more than staying in her life would have. Lena can’t believe the decision she had made five years ago, the choice she had been so sure was best for Kara, had turned out to be so wrong. 

Calling in a favour from the most intimidating woman Lena has ever met (and that includes Lillian) is nothing compared to the thought of causing Kara more pain. Lena Luthor never makes the same mistake twice. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena pulls strings to get Kara to see her again. Kara confronts Lena about how she left things five years ago.

Cat Grant puts down the phone and screams, "Kiera!"

Kara comes running and adjusts her glasses, which had been knocked askew in her haste to answer her boss's call. "Yes, Miss Grant?"

"Your first assignment as a reporter shall be to interview Lena Luthor." 

" _ What? _ "

"What was that, Kiera? I could have sworn you sounded as though you were about to question my orders."

"N-no, Miss Grant, it's just that, uh, I don't think I'm equipped to handle such an important interview."

"Nonsense, Kiera, it's just a fluff piece."

"A-are you sure, Miss Grant? I really don't feel confident…"

"Kara." There is kindness in Miss Grant's eyes as she places one hand on Kara's shoulder. "You will rise to the occasion. You’re capable of so much more than you think. Now, chop chop. Don’t keep the world's youngest self-made billionaire waiting."

Kara swallows hard and nods. It’s true that she doesn't feel comfortable doing an interview with the world's youngest CEO for her first article, but that isn't the main reason why she wants to reject it. She doesn't want to see Lena again. Well, yes, she still misses Lena intensely, but she is also very angry with her for pretending not to remember her. She doesn't trust herself not to confront Lena and open herself up for even more hurt by demanding answers to a five-year-old question. Not to mention screw up her first interview.

Whatever Lena's reasons were for ghosting her five years ago, Kara had long ago decided that the one thing she knew for sure in this confusing situation was that Lena didn't want to keep in touch anymore. So what good could possibly come out of Kara seeing Lena again? 

Kara considers faking illness to get out of this interview. But a memory floats into her consciousness: soft, viridian eyes gazing at her with such tenderness that time seemed to stop. And, just like that, her resolve and good sense vanishes, and she finds herself on the way to meet the person that makes her heart sing and cry at the same time. 

When Kara arrives at L-Corp, there is a split second when Lena looks at Kara so softly it reminds her of five years ago. Then, it's gone, and Lena arranges her face into the picture of professionalism. They get the pleasantries out of the way, Kara fighting to keep her voice level and her expression one of polite interest.

Kara tries, she really tries to keep the meeting strictly professional. 

She gets to the fifth question before she cracks. "How has your childhood and upbringing influenced you in your success?"

"I was adopted when I was four. Being part of the Luthor family-"

Another flash of pain grips Kara's chest: the third one in ten minutes, and Kara's composure comes undone. “So now you can say your last name so casually? Why didn't you tell me your last name, five years ago? Was it because you don't trust me?” Kara blurts out. Then, since they are no longer avoiding the elephant in the room, she adds, "I know you remember me, Lena."

“I could never forget, Kara.” Lena replies immediately, her voice already choking up. Her professional veneer is gone, and now, regret pools in her eyes. “I don't give my last name out to anyone through force of habit. My family’s power and influence has made it...difficult...to make true friends." Lena closes her eyes briefly for a moment, her expression pained. "I'm sorry, Kara, about the other day." Her voice is low, but filled with sincerity. "I wasn't sure if you would remember me so I just pretended. That was incredibly wrong of me. You deserved so much better than that." Lena hangs her head. In this moment, Lena Luthor, the most successful 25-year-old woman around, looks like a child who has done something wrong and has no clue what to do next. 

Kara feels the anger roaring in her ears and her heart squeezing painfully as old wounds open. "In the first few days after we parted, I was so worried. I thought something might have happened to you since we'd promised to keep in touch. I tried  _ so hard _ to find you, Lena. But there was nothing on your school's website about the debate team members. With your last name, I could have found you easily." Kara falls silent. She hates that her tears are already falling and show no sign of stopping. She grabs her bag and stands up. "I'm sorry...I can't do this. I thought I could, but it's too hard. I'll explain to Miss Grant and someone else will finish this."

"Wait, Kara!" Lena touches her shoulder, ever so gently, and somehow her warmth penetrates Kara's blazer and incinerates her skin. Now, Kara realises that her body has never forgotten Lena’s touch. That the rest of her body has always continued to miss Lena even when her brain had wrestled her heart into stopping. She halts, even though all she wants to do is fly home, bury herself under the covers and cry.

"Why did you stop contacting me, Lena? We both didn’t think we could handle a long-distance relationship, but all I wanted was to keep in contact so that we could hope. But you didn’t even want to keep in touch with me. Was it something I did? I could never stop asking myself why." Kara’s voice cracks at the last word. 


	7. Chapter 7

Kara continues talking, even though she’s crying so badly it is a small miracle that Lena still understands every word. “What we had was so, so beautiful, but I couldn’t convince myself that it was real because of how it ended. I get that you were scared - it was terrifying for me, too. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and I’ve never felt this way since. But  _ all I wanted _ was for us to stay in contact. I spent so long wishing every day that you would just have the courage to talk to me.”

Lena takes a deep, shuddering breath to calm herself, and begins to give Kara the answers she’s wanted for the past five years. “I  _ was  _ terrified. Because I know  _ in my bones  _ that you’re my soulmate, but if it didn't work out - and the chances aren't good because everyone I love leaves eventually - I knew I would never recover. I am not the best person for you, with all my baggage and my neediness. On top of that, my mother destroyed the lives of all my previous crushes and girlfriends. I thought it was best to keep it as a perfect love story that ended prematurely, before you had time to get to know me, all of me, and my devastating flaws. I wasn’t brave enough, wasn’t good enough for you, and most importantly I wanted you to give up completely so that you could find someone better, someone who can actually make you happy. I was selfish, too - shutting you off was the only way to get myself to give up on you. But it turns out that it didn’t work, and all I did was hurt you. I’m so, so sorry, Kara.” Lena breaks down now, face contorted as sobs escape her constricted throat.

There is nothing but the sound of crying for a long time. Both women are spent, faces sticky with dried tear tracks that overlap one another. Kara gets up first, mutters without meeting Lena’s gaze, “I’m sorry, it’s been...such a long day. I need to...I need to think about all of this.”

“Of course, of course. Take all the time you need. Will you meet me again?” Lena hates that her question sounds so needy. Kara needs space, and she should respect that.

“I don’t know Lena, I really don’t know,” Kara says sadly, and leaves.

Lena watches helplessly as the love of her life walks out the door. Again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supercorp's loved ones talk some sense into them. Lena discovers something of Kara's that brings her to an important realisation.

After leaving L-Corp, Kara sends an SOS message to Alex and asks her to come over that night. She can’t keep the secret from Alex anymore. She needs her. So so much. She should never have tried to go through this alone the first time. 

That night, Alex takes one look at Kara and without a word, she sits down as close to Kara as possible and holds her little sister’s hand in both of her own. “Tell me everything,” she says softly, stroking Kara’s hand with her thumb.

Kara tells the entire story in fits and starts. Alex soothes her with all the most effective methods she’s learnt since Kara’s nightmare and panic attack-ridden childhood. The older Danvers sister is glad she has a PhD in all things Kara, because she has never seen the Kryptonian this broken before. She knows it’ll take everything she’s got to help Kara through this.

“Why couldn’t she have just found the courage to keep in contact with me, all those years ago? All I needed from her was not to walk out of my life, and she did just that. The hurt fucked me up so much and now we’ve found each other again but I don’t know how to trust her. To have faith in us. Back then I felt like I could tell her anything, Alex. And now I can’t tell her anything because I’m so afraid she’s going to hurt me again.”

“Oh, Kar. I’m so sorry this happened to you and you felt that you couldn’t tell me. But I’m going to tell you something now and it may be difficult to swallow, but promise me you’ll consider it carefully, okay?”

Kara nods, all puffy eyes and sniffles, and Alex sees the little alien who arrived at the Danvers household more than a decade ago, lost and afraid. Her heart aches.

“I don’t know what Lena’s reasons were for choosing not to keep in touch with you, but from how you described your time together in Star City, she was just as invested as you in this romance and it can’t have been easy for her to let you go. You question why she didn’t have the courage to keep in touch with you. You’re right - whatever her reasons were, she shouldn’t have hurt you like this, should have at least given you some closure. But we can’t do anything about that now since it’s in the past. Right now, we have to focus on the present. It seems that right now, Lena has the courage to rebuild your trust in her. But if you still want to be with her as badly as when you first met, you’re going to have to be brave enough to let her in again.” Alex strokes her sister’s face gently, watching as Kara considers the weight of her words.

///

Once Kara leaves Lena’s office, Lena calls her best friend.

“Sam?”

“Lena? What’s wrong?”   
Lena’s voice breaks. “I need you.”

Sam reaches L-Corp in record time. She has never heard Lena sound so lost before. 

Sam is the only reason Lena survived conversion therapy with most of her sanity intact. She is the only person Lena has ever told about Kara. Months after Lena met Kara in Star City, Sam also found her soulmate, only this person was already engaged, and Sam had forced herself to walk away. They were the only one in each other’s lives who understood exactly what the other was going through. So they held each other’s hand throughout those dark days, took care of each other during many drunken nights, and from the pits of this suffering, the strongest bond was born. 

Lena hugs Sam the moment she arrives, something she almost never does. Lena updates Sam on what happened when she met Kara again in National City, and how the interview earlier that day had gone. Sam listens throughout without any interruption, pensive. She holds Lena as she cries, blaming herself for everything as she always does, and waits for the Luthor to calm down before she speaks for the first time.

“First of all, you need to know that you are  _ definitely  _ good enough for Kara, Yes, you made a mistake by cutting off ties without a word, but you really thought you were doing what was best for her. You had good reasons for doing so. All that’s in the past now - nothing more you can do about it. I know how much you want to be with her, but I gotta tell you, it’s not gonna be easy and you’re gonna have to fight real hard to regain her trust and faith. I have no doubt that you can do it. But, Lena, you have to prove to her that it wasn’t over for you, too, when you left Star City. And then you have to show her that you still feel exactly the same way about her as you did back then, and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to fix this.”

Later that night, as Lena is looking for answers at the bottom of a bottle, Sam texts her.

**OMG I googled Kara Danvers and look what I found!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Lena feels her entire body sober up when she opens the link Sam sent her.

“Even that is an understatement” by potstickas4eva

Kara has transposed their entire Star City romance into a fanfiction story. She looks at the date it was posted. 5 years ago. Lena devours all 10 chapters in one sitting, and she cannot stop crying as she realises that Kara felt exactly the same as Lena did during those 3 magical days. She holds her breath until the happy ending in the last chapter which Kara has made up. Kara’s taken some creative liberties here and there, but most of the story is exactly what happened, including some parts which recounted what they said to each other verbatim.

The story has 10,000 hits and hundreds of comments talking about how beautiful it was and asking if it was really based on a true story. Kara had replied to some of them, clarifying that yes, it was a true story, but she was still wishing for a happy ending.

_ Oh my god, I really made the biggest mistake in my life by going radio silent.  _ Despairing that she still has no idea what to do to win Kara back, Lena first does more crying and drinking, then stops and starts to think long and hard about what Sam said earlier, scouring her mind for ideas. 

At 2 am, inspiration finally hits her, and she springs out of bed, unable to wait a second longer to execute her plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an idea for what Lena can do to win Kara over. If you have ideas too, share with me and I will consider them. :) The next chapter will probably be the last one, you guys. I promise lots and lots of fluff! Thanks for making it this far with me! Been one hell of a ride, eh. Gotta get through hell to reach paradise, baby.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena proves her love to Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it this far! Just a bit more angst and crying, and then the fluff begins in 5..4..3..2..1.
> 
> Next chapter will be the last!

When Lena arrives at Kara’s apartment, she pats the bundle over her chest for good luck, and presses the doorbell, hoping fervently that Kara will see her.

In Kara’s apartment, Alex is pulling a blanket over her sister who has finally fallen asleep after hours of crying, when the doorbell rings.

Lena is standing at the door, eyes red, puffy, pleading. Alex folds her arms and stares down the person who broke her sister’s heart. Twice. L-Corp’s CEO looks a far cry from her usual composed self - face make-up free, hair up in a messy bun, dressed in a trench coat hastily thrown over an expensive-looking silver silk pajamas set. 

“Please, Agent Danvers. I need to talk to her. I want to fix this.”

Alex can think of many colourful ways to reject Lena Luthor, but she knows that Kara may never forgive her if she denies Lena, denies the two of them, this chance at reconciliation. 

She curses under her breath when she hears Kara stirring and her voice, small and hopeful, asking, “Lena?”

“You’d better not make me regret this.” Alex steps aside.

“I won’t. _ Thank you _,” Lena whispers.

“I’ll go home and give the two of you some privacy.” Alex says, though the worried expression on her face betrays how much she wants to stay and protect Kara. She throws a warning glare at Lena as she leaves.

Kara is sitting on the couch, hugging her knees and avoiding Lena’s glance. Lena pads over, sits on the floor. “Kara, please, look at me. I know you’re scared that I’m going to hurt you again. I probably don’t deserve a second chance, but please, just hear me out, and if you decide that you don’t want me in your life, I will leave National City and never return again. I promise.” She looks into Kara’s eyes until the blonde slowly lifts her chin up and meets her gaze. 

Lena cannot stand looking at the pain in Kara’s eyes anymore without doing anything. Without thinking about it, she takes Kara into her arms, holding Kara as tightly as possible as tears pour down her own face. For the next few minutes, she just embraces the blonde and rocks her back and forth, stroking her hair, and Kara almost can’t bear it because it is _ just like old times. _

They stay like this for what seems like an age. Then, when Kara’s sobs quieten down, Lena takes out a black, slimy-looking, many-tentacled creature and attaches it to her arm. “I brought a truth-seeker, so that you can be assured that whatever I say is a hundred percent true.”

“You didn’t have to,” Kara mumbles.

“I do. I know I’ve lost your trust and I need to regain it. Now, ask me anything.”

“Did you ever love me?”

“Oh, Kara.” Lena strokes Kara’s cheek, her own face getting wet. “It was love at first sight for me. I’m crazy about you, and even though I made the biggest mistake by ghosting you, it wasn’t over for me too when we parted. To prove it, I brought you something which you can read after you’ve asked all the questions you want to ask. If you want to. I love you Kara, and I’ll never stop. ”

Kara is crying again, but this time, it is because she is moved. She leans into Lena’s touch, places her hand over Lena’s and gives it a squeeze. 

The moment is interrupted when Kara’s windows shatter into a million pieces. Instinctively, she jumps over Lena and shields her from the glass raining down.

Lillian Luthor descends, clad in a green metallic suit of armour. Kara collapses to the ground, writhing in pain from the high levels of Kryptonite that the suit is emitting. Lena leans protectively over her soulmate.

“My dear, gay daughter. So your latest squeeze is Supergirl, huh? You remember how _ well _ I treated each slutty, money-grubbing girl you loved. Today, I get to kill two birds with one stone. Get rid of a Kryptonian _ and _ remind you once again how a Luthor should behave.”

The evil Luthor fires two Kryptonite bullets at Kara. Without thinking, Lena leaps in front of her at the last second, with almost superhuman speed.

“LENA!” Kara screams despite the darkness threatening to swallow her whole. She finds the strength to get up and punch out the power source on Lillian’s suit. Lena’s mother flees as DEO agents break in, summoned by the panic button Kara had hit when Lillian first burst in.

Kara fights to stay conscious, her mind incapable of forming a single coherent thought as she puts pressure on the gushing wound on Lena’s leg. Her heart almost stops beating when she sees that there is another bullet hole over Lena’s chest. She unbuttons Lena’s coat with trembling hands. 

Kara sits down heavily on the ground when she sees that there is no blood, only an ugly bruise, because a super thick stack of letters has blocked the bullet. This must be the “evidence” that Lena spoke of.

“Alex! Lena’s hurt! Please, help her.”

“Kara…” Lena’s eyes flutter open, and Kara decides that this particular shade of green is her new favourite colour. Lena’s entire body tenses as she tries to sit up. She only relaxes when she sees that Kara is free of Kryptonite bullets, and her wounds are already healing. “You’re okay,” She sighs with relief and her eyes drift shut again.

“Hey.” Kara strokes Lena’s face. “You got shot, but you’re going to be okay. But you need to stay awake for me, okay?” 

Lena pries her eyes open. “‘Kay.”

Kara holds Lena’s hand for the whole journey to the DEO in Alex’s car. 

“You’re so silly. Why did you jump in front of the bullets?” Kara asks, her voice cracking as she stares at the bullet hole on Lena’s coat, thinking about how close she came to losing Lena for good. 

“I meant it when I said I love you and I’ll never stop. I’m so sorry, Kara.” Tears fall down Lena’s face, and Kara knows it is not from the pain of her wound.

Without even thinking about it, Kara bends down to kiss Lena on the forehead. “Don’t you ever prove your love to me in such a dangerous way again,” She scolds.

Lena gives a small smile, and Kara wonders how she can look so beautiful despite being pale and sweaty. “So I succeeded, then? You believe that I love you?” 

“Yes.” Kara squeezes her hand. “But I mean it. Don’t risk your life for me.”

“I promise not to risk my life for you if you promise never to save me as Supergirl, or as Kara.”

Kara’s cheeks puff in frustration. “You...you! Eargh. This conversation isn’t over.”

“Okay, I don’t care if all you do is scold me or nag at me for the rest of my life, as long as you never stop talking to me.” Lena stares at Kara with eyes so full of hope that it breaks Kara’s heart.

“You’re going to regret saying that,” Kara laughs, wipes away Lena’s sweat, and strokes her hair.

“We’re here, lovebirds,” Alex announces.

Even though her body is screaming with exhaustion, Kara reads the stack of letters while Lena is in surgery. They are unsent letters to Kara, and each of them is full of Lena’s confessions about how much she misses Kara. Some of them are just about her day, little things that she wished to tell Kara, as though they were girlfriends. Some are full of self-directed angst about her cowardice for not contacting Kara. Through the letters, Kara realises that Lena had missed her every bit as much as she missed Lena. She just thought that she was not good enough for Kara, that she should let Kara go instead of keeping them in a limbo state of long-distance more-than-friends, so that Kara could find someone she deserved. These self-deprecating letters broke Kara’s heart, while the ones where Lena talked about how much she missed Kara, and just wanted to tell her about her day, made her heart sing. Kara cried the hardest when reading one particular letter. The Luthors had just moved back to Metropolis after two years in Japan, and the first thing Lena did had been to book a flight to National City. But she cancelled it at the last minute because she was sure Kara either did not remember her or hated her for giving up on them. 

After that day, Lena makes no assumptions and gives Kara time and distance to regain her trust and fully heal from five years’ worth of hurt. She apologises to Kara every day, in different ways - all exorbitant, yet oozing with sincerity. One time, Kara comes home to find her apartment filled with hundreds of bouquets of flowers, and on every single bouquet, there is a long, handwritten note saying how sorry Lena is and one thing she wished to tell Kara in the five years they were apart. Every note is different, and the contents do not overlap with what Lena had already written in her letters. 

They meet every once in a while, when Kara wants to. Kara still has occasional attacks of hurt and insecurity about what Lena did and how Lena feels about her, and Lena encourages Kara to talk and answers her questions patiently every time. Lena is encouraged by the small smiles Kara starts to give her. Soon, Kara is touching her again - just small movements at first. Kara would briefly rest her hand on Lena’s shoulder, or forearm, or knee. On the day Lena’s bandages come off, Kara drives Alex crazy by fussing the whole time about being gentle. When it’s done, Kara squeezes the CEO’s breath away in a bone-crushing embrace. They stay like this for a long time, holding on to each other as though they would never let go. Lena finds that her face is wet with tears of relief that finally, finally, she is in Kara’s arms again. 

Two weeks later, Lena and Kara take a vacation to Star City.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the fluff! You deserve it!

Lena is nervous the whole time Kara’s flying them to Star City, hoping that this is a good idea and not one that will only trigger painful memories. It’s a big risk, but she knows she has to do this, has to replace those memories by changing the ending. She reminds herself that Kara had agreed to the trip and had actually looked excited about it.

They spend the days exploring Star City properly this time round, and the nights doing exactly the same things they did on those three magical days. They don’t say it out loud, but each feels immense relief to find that they still feel that same intense connection towards each other. Everything feels as magical as it did before - perhaps even more so, knowing that they were given a second chance and very nearly lost each other forever.

On the third night, Lena tells Kara she has a surprise for her. When the blindfold comes off, Kara finds that they are in Star City’s aquarium after hours - the jellyfish exhibit. Lena explains that she’s pulled strings to enter after hours, and the staff have left the lights on specially for them. The neon lights change, and the jellyfish glow mystically. Kara is entranced, recalls that she had told Lena all those years ago that she had always wanted to visit the aquarium after hours, and that her favourite sea creature is jellyfishes.

Lena embraces her tightly from the back.

“You remembered,” Kara whispers, her intense emotions soothed by the fluid motions of the jellies.

“When your soulmate tells you what she likes, you tend to remember,” Lena replies wryly.

Kara smiles, turns around to gaze at Lena and finds herself drowning in a sea of green.

Lena’s face grows serious. She picks up both of Kara’s hands, and holds them. “Kara, there’s one more thing I haven’t told you, that the letters don’t cover. The last part of the story - the part before we found each other again.” 

Kara kisses Lena’s hand - the back of her hand, then her palm. “Tell me.”

“During the darkest days of conversion therapy when even my best friend Sam couldn’t cheer me up, I thought of our time together, and that was always enough to remind me that I cannot denounce my identity because it’s what led me to you, and it’s what gave me those three magical days together with you.

Later on, when I was struggling hard to build my family business back up again after Lex ruined it, there were a lot of hard times too. But I got through each of them by telling myself that I wanted to be someone - so that I could begin to be good enough for you. And when I became the youngest self-made billionaire, I started to feel confident enough to try to look for you again. I had no idea how, since I didn’t even have your last name. But around that time, you came out to the world as Supergirl. I knew it was you, because of what you told me about Krypton, but I had no way of finding out your real identity.

After a lot of thinking, I decided to take the leap and move to National City. I knew that you may not even remember me, and if you did you probably never wanted to talk to me or see me again, but - I can’t explain it - there was just this powerful urge within me telling me to screw the odds and just give it a try. Maybe it was all the regret of not keeping in touch with you that made me do it. But, Kara, I’m so glad I did. I’m sorry it caused you so much pain, and I swear, if you will let me, I will spend every day for the rest of my life making it up to you.

After I came to National City, I meant to call in a favour from Cat Grant, and try to find out who Supergirl is. But before I managed to, you walked into my office. I’m so sorry - I think my brain short-circuited when I saw you and I just decided for some absurd reason to pretend not to remember you. You walked back into my life, Kara, just like that, and I took it as a sign from the universe to take this second chance, and make the best of it. No matter how big the obstacles.”

Kara wipes away Lena’s tears with a feather-light touch. Lena does the same for her. 

“You don’t have to apologise, or make up for what you did five years ago, anymore. We can’t have a real relationship if you do that. After reading your letters I understood perfectly why you did it. I was still mad and hurt for a while, but finally, I understood why and I had closure. You had to be strong for us, because we would have been miserable with a long-distance relationship, and we both weren’t ready. Now, I understand that we needed that distance and time to be ready for each other. But Lena - you need to know, you’ve always been more than good enough for me. It was love at first sight for me, too, and the person I fell in love with was you, not some overachieving CEO - although I am immensely proud of what you have achieved. I will spend every day of my life convincing you that you are enough. I love you, Lena Luthor.” Lena has never been kissed so tenderly by anyone else, and in this moment, she remembers how it feels like. Kara makes all the stars appear when before, there was only endless black sky.

“I love you, Kara Danvers.”

They admire the jellyfish for a while more, and then walk back to the same hotel suite where so many things happened, hand in hand.

They begin kissing in the elevator, and when they reach their floor, Kara wordlessly carries Lena up onto her hips with one arm and opens the door to the suite with the other. Lena’s legs automatically wrap around Kara as she nibbles hungrily at Kara’s lips, making her moan.

Kara takes off her clothes in super-speed, then starts on Lena’s clothes when she gives her consent.

“What do you say we act out _ that _ particular chapter in your fanfiction about us?” Lena’s eyes sparkle mischievously. Kara gasps with shock. “You found it? Oh, _ Rao _.” Her face turns deep red.

Lena kisses her on the forehead. “It was a beautiful story, and now...I’m going to give you that happy ending you’ve always deserved.”

“Really? Well, we’d better start immediately. Make up for all that lost time.” She pushes Lena down onto the bed with a devilish grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it to the end! You may find it interesting to know that part of this story was based (loosely) on real events. The 3-day romance really happened to me - but with a different, bittersweet ending. I used a lot of my creative license, though, to make this story as in-character as possible for Lena and Kara. 
> 
> Writing this was cathartic for me - a way of giving myself the happy ending I so wanted. I hope it also helps someone out there who is also sad, or has lost hope in finding love (or just finds this fun to read somehow, even with all the angst). We just gotta keep on keeping on, and keep the faith. Remember, the best love stories are filled with huge obstacles and people only get together at the very end.
> 
> Thank you again for all your comments.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, consider checking out my super fluffy one-shots fic where Lena spoils Kara silly with her wealth and ingenuity, and Kara makes Lena giddy with her superpowers and sweetness - "It's Not Cheating When You Love Her": https://archiveofourown.org/works/19393666 :) Thanks for the support, y'all!


End file.
